James Masterton

You may have noticed that during this wander through the chart of 1996 I’ve made the odd reference to the dotmusic commentary I wrote for that particular week. For a long time I denied that I actually had a record of these old pieces, batting away requests from people wanting to know what I’d written about their favourite song by regretting that I had kept no record of it at all.

Actually the truth is I’ve a near complete archive of everything I’ve ever written on the subject of the UK charts, dating way back to October 1992. The reason most of that is kept under wraps is because much of the old stuff is pretty awful to be frank, particuarly from this period when my window of opportunity to write the columns was on a Sunday afternoon after presenting breakfast that day and with a few hours to go until I was due on the air again for the rest of the night. As a result most of the pieces are the most blatant chunks of “will this do” that I have ever had the nerve to put my name to, containing little in the way of original research or critical analysis. Looking back it is amazing I both kept my job and maintained the reputation I had. If you have ever wondered why they are lost to history that is really the sole reason, they suck utterly. Which is why doing this retrospective is such a nice opportunity to do some of these records properly.

10: Charlatans – One To Another

This was of course the single that was released in the most tragic of circumstances, just a few weeks after the death of keyboard player Rob Collins in a car crash, right in the middle of the sessions that would result in their new album. Rush released as a tribute, with such a wave of goodwill behind it, the single could hardly fail and it shot to Number 3 to become only their second ever Top 10 hit and to this day their biggest single ever. Whether the ‘Tellin’ Stories’ album (finally finished and released early the following year) would have been such a success had it not been released to such a backdrop is open to some doubt, but history records it as a genuine commercial high point for the group, producing three Top 10 singles in total. ‘One To Another’ may not quite rank as their best single ever but due to the events surrounding its release deservedly stands as one of their most famous.

9: Los Del Rio – Macarena

As I may have mentioned already, I spent most of the summer of 1996 sleeping during the day and making bad radio shows at night. As a result many aspects of popular culture kind of passed me by, so I genuinely have no recollection of how much of a British phenomenon the Macarena was. We didn’t even play the record at our radio station so even the track itself kind of appeared without my noticing. History of course does record that this was the record (and the dance) that had America in its thrall during that summer.

Latin lounge duo Los Del Rio had recorded the original track in 1992 after being inspired by a Venezuelan dancer friend of theirs. The catchy rumba had become a hit in Puerto Rico and from there had found its way to the East Coast of the USA, in particular Miami. It was there that two local radio DJs hit upon the idea of turning it into a pop hit by remixing it and adding new English vocals. The rest is history, the track spent 14 weeks at the top of the charts in America and for most of that year was the popular culture reference point of the nation. In Britain it was a similar story, hitting Number 2 during August and fighting off a spoiler cover version from Spanish copycats Los Del Mar (which strangely enough was the version that was a hit in many other territories).

8: OMC – How Bizarre (iTunes)

From the drawer marked “forgotten classics”, this was the one and only chart hit for New Zealand Duo Otara Millionaires Club, or OMC for short. Their most famous track became a worldwide hit after the pair had gone their separate ways, lead singer Pauly Fuemena retaining the name and using it for subsequent recording work. Despite a followup single released early the next year, OMC remain as far as most of the world are concerned, one hit wonders. This track, needless to say, was an airplay smash hit at the time and whilst I could be mistaken remains to this day the biggest ever hit single from a New Zealand act, making its near invisibility in modern times all the more, well, bizarre.

7: Kula Shaker – Hey Dude (iTunes)

If ever you require an example of a band bursting through as part of a tidal wave of hype and simply being unable to follow up their early promise, then look no further than Kula Shaker. Discovered at a talent contest at the 1995 music industry “In The City” conference, the group were the subject of a frantic bidding war. With the instant gimmick of being fronted by Krispin Mills, son of actress Hayley Mills and with a sound that mixed modern day rock with Eastern mysticism, Kula Shaker were a marketing dream. Second single ‘Tattva’ had shot to Number 4 and found itself played on commercial radio stations that would normally have not touched such exotic sounding records with a ten foot pole. Followup ‘Hey Dude’ was a slightly more coventional sounding track and rocketed to Number 2 the moment it was released. As far as many people were concerned, this group were the future and a future that sounded wild, exciting and above all like nothing you had heard before.

Inevitably it couldn’t last. Their second album was delayed until 1999 following management disputes and sold poorly compared to the first. Within a few months of its release the band had announced their split, one that was to last until last year when they reformed for a low key comeback album. Undaunted by a lack of hits, they are reported to be working on a fourth album for release next year. Their initial flame may have burned brightly and quickly, but their story may not quite be over yet.

6: Stretch and Vern – I’m Alive

A new entry on the chart this week and one of those ideas that somehow just worked. ‘I’m Alive’ was at its heart an intense and catchy rap based almost entirely around a looped sample of the introduction to ‘Boogie Wonderland’, the backing enough to give it an energy and a sense of fun that all but guaranteed it would become a hit. All but forgotten these days which is perhaps understandable given that it was such a throwaway novelty, but for many this will bring back a great many happy memories.

5: Jamiroquai – Virtual Insanity

Yes, its that one. Accompanied by possibly the most famous video of its era, this is almost certainly closest Jamiroquai had to a signature song. Taken from third album ‘Travelling Without Moving’, it too marked the high point of the career of Jay Kay and his bandmates both critically and commercially, even if some longstanding fans bemoaned the lurch towards mainstream pop and away from the retro-funk that made them such a cool proposition at the start of the decade.

4: Smurfs – I’ve Got A Little Puppy

Now this is the barmiest story of them all. Years, no, decades before Crazy Frog came the Smurfs, the blue cartooned people whom the Dutch found it hilarious to turn into recording stars, most famously in 1978 when several of their tracks became hits. The concept was revived by someone with a bizarre sense of humour in early 1996, with many headlines being generated after Oasis refused to allow ‘Wonderwall’ to be re-imagined in high pitched tones as ‘Wondersmurf’.

The track that was chosen for the big Smurf recording comeback turned out to be one that was almost beyond parody to begin with. ‘I Wanna Be A Hippy’ was one of the last ever hits recorded by Greater Than One duo Lee Newman and Michael Wells. Released under the name Technohead, it ranks as one of the most successful gabba tracks of all time in the UK, hitting Number 6 in early 1996, remaining on the chart for a then impressive 14 weeks and most entertainingly of all prompting a flurry of concerned letters to Points Of View from people who were alternately concerned about its apparent promotion of drug use or simply unable to comprehend a single note. Just six months later the Smurfs version took it to new heights of ridiculousness. Instead of being hippies and wanting to get high, the little blue men had “…a little puppy and it lives in my house…”. Either too few or too many people got the joke, the single shot to Number 4 and here on this chart was lodged there for a second week. I’m almost scared to embed the homebrewed YouTube video.

3: Spice Girls – Wannabe

A question to ponder. Much as Simon Fuller liked to brag that the plan for the Spice Girls had been laid out from the start (first album, Christmas single, second album, feature film), you do have to wonder just how much of that would have come to fruition had their first ever single had a quick in and out chart career peaking at Number 10. Sadly we shall never know for ‘Wannabe’ of course not only defined the entire summer but was effectively a shot in the arm for pop music, producing not only a whole new generation of all-female groups but most importantly a hungry target market all keen to race out and buy not only their records but any associated merchandise they could get their hands on.

I remember vividly the day they first came to promote the single. I was presenting the afternoon show that day and suddenly became aware of this maelstrom of colour, bare flesh and enthusiastic noise feeding down the corridor and into the spare studio next door. Fifteen minutes later a rather shellshocked Simon Hirst emerged and announced in a bewildered manner “I think one of the group just asked me out”. It turned out that Geri Halliwell (for it was she) had turned to him afterwards and announced “I really like you, can I get your phone number”, a request which he batted away for their PR person to deal with. To this day we have never worked out if she was genuine (in which case he turned down a date from a future multi-millionairess) or if this was a stunt they pulled on every single local radio jock they interviewed in an attempt to get the record played.

I can tell you with some authority that one other former colleague of mine, now a big shot engineer for Global Radio, turned down the chance to book them for the Christmas lights roadshows that winter, telling the agency that he didn’t think they would still be famous by the end of the year. It took him a while to live that one down.

This week in 1996 ‘Wannabe’ had finally been knocked off the top of the chart after an epic seven week run. All eyes were then turned to their follow-up single, set to receive its premiere later in September. Little did we know that the legend had only just begun.

2: Fugees – Ready Or Not

It would make Number One eventually, but a little forgotten nugget of information is that the third Fugees single, the followup to the globe-buggering smash hit ‘Killing Me Softly’ spent its first week on release as the second biggest selling single of the week, stuck behind a track that for a brief moment was even bigger than anything the celebrated trio had to offer. ‘Ready Or Not’ was based on two older if rather more obscure tracks, its chorus lifted from an old Delfonics single of the same name, whilst the haunting instrumentation was thanks to a sample from an old Enya track ‘Boaficea’. It subsequently turned out that permission had not been obtained for the sample and the group settled out of court, Enya presumably subsequently able to retire on the royalties that came her way as a result of the track.

1: Peter Andre – Flava

Yes it was, trust me. You see in the summer of 96, Peter Andre was close to being the biggest star on the planet. ‘Mysterious Girl’ had spent over two months in the Top 10, transforming the Australian hunk into the object of lust for just about every teenage girl in the land. I would have hated to have been a teenage boy back then. Just imagine being rejected by the entire class because you didn’t have the six pack stomach or the “curtains” haircut sported by their music idol. It was almost a given that his next single would shoot straight to the top, and so it proved, even if it was the weakest, most tunrless, hyst minutes of plastic R&B you had ever heard in your life. ‘Flava’ is also the track responsible for the urban myth that the rapper featured on it is Gnarls Barkley star Cee-Lo, a “fact” mentioned in at least one chart book and merrily parroted by me online a couple of years ago. For the record, the rapper on the track is one Maurice Cee, a production staffer at Mushroom records in Australia (where Andre’s debut album was recorded) and whose musical output appears to be limited to just that one recording.

Like so many teen-friendly acts, Peter Andre’s stardom was brief and fleeting, at least first time around. Who could have predicted that the phone call that led to his “I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here” appearance in early 2004 would have not only given him a whole new career as the bloke who makes babies with Jordan but also send his most famous recording back into the charts and to the Number One position it narrowly missed out on eight years earlier.

I don’t personally have too many direct memories of the summer of 96. At the time I was working a crazy schedule that would see me presenting overnight shows on the radio during the week, and then working most of the sports shows at the weekend. I’d do something like six shifts in four days and spend the rest of the time desperately trying to catch up on sleep. Popular culture and the events of the world kind of passed me by during that time. I also presented some of the worst radio shows known to man and look back now with amazement that I took home the money for them with a clear conscience.

Back to the chart, as Mark Goodier was making a rather better job of this radio thing…

30: Alison Limerick – Make It On My Own (iTunes)

Another “revival selection” as Pete Tong would have it, this the second Alison Limerick track of the year to reappear on the chart thanks to a Dancing Divaz remix. Originally a Number 16 hit in February 1992, four years on the reworked version was only able to stagger into the Top 30, in contrast to the 96 version of ‘Where Love Lives’ which had smashed its way to Number 9 earlier in the summer to become rather surprisingly her biggest hit single ever.

29: Total – Kissin’ You

Nope, I missed this one out in the original dotmusic commentary this week for some reason, or maybe I guessed that it was going to get no further than this new entry position. All but forgotten these days, Total were a generic female R&B group, notoriously signed to Puff Daddy’s Bad Boy Records vanity label which gave them the required kudos to carve out two albums worth of minor hits. This track was the first of just two Top 40 hits they scored in this country, the second coming in 1998 (‘What You Want’ which crept to Number 15 in April that year and of which I have absolutely no recollection). Back to ‘Kissin’ You’ and Wikipedia helpfully notes that it has been sampled on both Teairra Mari’s “Missing You” & Bizzy Bone’s “Thugs Need Love Too”. I feel better for knowing that.

Their only work available online appears to be their followup album from 1998 which doesn’t have ‘Kissin’ You’ on it. Ah, good old YouTube.

28: Quincy Jones – Stomp (The Remixes)

I mentioned this new entry on dotmusic, if only to note that it was the first chart hit for the legendary producer since his 1990 version of ‘I’ll Be Good To You’. I made no reference to the track itself, suggesting I hadn’t even heard it by that time. Just like the aforementioned hit, this was Q making use of his address book as this cover of the old Brothers Johnson classic featured a stellar cast list – Melle Mel, Coolio, Yo-Yo, Luniz and er, Shaquille O’Neal who presumably entertained everyone with slam dunks at the recording session. Curiously hard to find, you will have to make do with a dodgy YouTube dub of the Mousse T remix that headed up this single.

27: REM – E-Bow The Letter

Looking back, you can see why REM elected to end the decade with “difficult” album ‘Up’ as by the mid-90s their releases were all starting to merge into one. 1996 album ‘New Adventures In Hi-Fi’ may be one of their most acclaimed efforts but was sorely lacking in memorable hit tracks for the most part. The meandering narrative of ‘E-Bow The Letter’ was for its sins the first single released and shot straight to Number 4 almost by default, becoming startlingly their biggest hit single to that date. Its moment in the sun was short and sweet however and the single charged down the chart almost as fast as it entered. Some fans will hate me for saying this, but I thought it was pitiful then and frankly still do today as I sit and hear it for the first time in a decade.

26: Dodgy – Good Enough

Another single that people appeared to be absolutely creaming themselves over at the time but which left me rather underwhelmed, even if I didn’t actually dislike it. Our head of music at the time thought it was the dogs nads so it remained on our playlist for weeks, even after it was heading down the chart. In fairness this was of course the biggest ever chart hit for Dodgy, hitting Number 4 almost from the moment it was released and a staple of “best of the 90s” hits compilations ever since. Is it wrong to point out that, you know, they made better songs than this?

25: Alisha’s Attic – I Am I Feel

This, on the other hand is more like it. The first ever hit single for the Poole sisters who clocked up five years of enormously appealing and genuinely rather lovely hits without ever once tickling the Top 10. Like AC/DC with frilly dresses I guess. Feminist anthem ‘I Am, I Feel’ hit Number 14 at the start of August and was by this time gently meandering its way down the listings. Whilst promoting this single they embarked on a tour of local radio stations and performed an acoustic rendition of the track for each one. We recorded ours and I would often play it rather than the single version overnight, just to be different.

24: Pet Shop Boys – Se A Vide E

About a year or so back I embarked on a mass CD purchase of albums I hitherto only owned on cassette. Amongst them were most of the Pet Shop Boys back catalogue and it afforded the chance to listen to 1996 album ‘Bilingual’ and marvel at just how good, and in a way how underrated at the time it was. Sadly its release concided with the time when their appeal was shrinking to the hardcore rump of fans that mean the pair continue to make records that barely tickle the mainstream despite the money lavished on comedy videos. The Latin flavoured romp was a case in point, a single which at any other stage in their career would have been a major smash hit, topping the charts for weeks. Instead despite saturation airplay (it wound up one of the most played singles of 96) the track made a perfunctory appearance at Number 8 and charged back down the chart immediately after, a pattern to be repeated by Pet Shop Boys singles between now and the present day. Never mind, for a brief moment it was the soundtrack of the summer it was supposed to be, even if popular culture records otherwise.

23: Bryan Adams – Let’s Make It A Night To Remember

Mrs Masterton and I have tickets to see Bryan Adams at the O2 this coming November, an event which should hopefully enable me to put to rest memories of the last concert of his I attended. His was one of a number of big name gigs staged at the McAlpine Stadium in Huddersfield and which we, as the local station, were involved in promoting. As part of that, all the presenters got freebie tickets and so on a hot August day we all crammed into a VIP room at the stadium to enjoy some complimentary hospitality whilst support acts Texas and Del Amitri noodled away outside. Then the stadium manager attracted our attention and announced that the superstar attraction was complaining of a headache down in the dressing rooms and had requested a room with natural light to recover it. As ours was the only such room, we were being requested to vacate and instead were moved to a roped off area in the main restaurant area which wasn’t quite as cool. Never mind, there was better to come. Those who wanted were also issued with VIP wristbands which meant that come showtime we were ushered to the side of the stage and permitted to climb the gantry to watch the entire show from the point of view of the band , on the proviso we didn’t throw things at them as they performed below.

Looking back this was actually a very memorable experience. For the only time in my life I was able to experience just what it was like to be an internationally famous rock star, being almost knocked off the scaffold by the wall of noise that erupted from the thousands below as he walked on stage. Although we didn’t know it at the time, the other half of the wristbands had been issued to the younger members of the Manchester United squad, so I actually spent the concert stood next to the likes of Ryan Giggs, Phil Neville and some unknown young chap called David Beckham. Overall however, the forthcoming O2 gig will mark the first Bryan Adams concert I’ve attended where I wasn’t forced to spend the whole thing staring at his arse.

Oh yes, the song. Second single from ’18 Til I Die’ and a romantic ballad that had peaked at Number 10 in the same week as that gig. But you knew that.

22: Bone Thugs-N-Harmony – Tha Crossroads

A Number One single, or at least it would be eventually when covered in 2002 by Blazin’ Squad. Before Kenzie and pals got their hands on it however it was a worldwide smash hit for Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, a moving tribute to Easy-E whose death from AIDS the previous year had managed to unite the entire hip-hop world in mourning. Only a Number 7 hit here, it spent eight weeks at the top of the Hot 100 and is justifiably one of the most famous hits of its era. All this makes it more amazing that it is not available as a single download in any of the big online stores.

21: 3T featuring Michael Jackson – Why

Sometimes it pays to keep in in the family. 3T were the vocal trio formed by the sons of Tito Jackson and had a brief but intense period of fame in the middle of the decade, Europe in particular succumbing to their charms enthusiastically. They could hardly have asked for a better start to their chart career in the UK, storming straight to Number 2 with debut single ‘Anything’ in early 1996 and matching that peak with ‘Why’, thanks you suspect to a prominent guest vocal from Uncle Michael himself. They rounded off the year in style with the seasonal weepie ‘I Need You’ before all but dropping out of sight thanks to the rather lukewarm response to their album ‘Brotherhood’ back home. Instead the group concentrated on mainland Europe, releasing several albums on Dutch labels. They never charted in the UK after 1997.